This sounds like the UDP communication is blocked - and the reason for that is usually a Firewall on your host computer. Can you disable that one completely for a minute just to check if it works then?

Remote and TM FX host can not run on the same computer simultaneously - because they use the same port. So if it's not Windows Firewall - what about an additional Firewall from any Antivirus solution, and UDP blocked in your router?

Before I go any further, can someone confirm I am using the right app?

On my computer:  Totalmix FX 1.50 (3)
On the iPad: Totalmix Remote iPad App 1.12

What purpose is the TotalMix REMOTE for the computer.  IF, I try to open it, it just constantly looks for a host connection over and over and over...

EDIT ::15 minutes later:  Just added a few changes to the Windows firewall and made SLIGHT Progress.. IF I use the mouse to adjust a fader on the computer, it shows that movement on the iPad.  IF I use the iPad to adjust a fader...nothing happens on the computer, they will bounce back to the settings originally made and mirror the computer. Latency for that action is about 1 second.  Anything clicked on the computer, shows up on the iPad about 1 second later.

Also the Upper right section of the iPad that shows connectivity flashes" CONNECTED / then OFFLINE and back and forth continuously

Any ideas much appreciated

EDIT  About 1 HOUR LATER:  Solved

For any number of reasons, the computer application of TMFX was reporting the host address as 192.168.1.241.  After several hours today, it reported a different address which I plugged into the iPad and made it active...IT WORKS

I don't know that this helps anyone but...its solved for now